Have you ever heard this quote?
“How you spend your time is how you spend your life.”
If you are not thrilled with the way the last 24 hours of your life have gone, it can be startling to let the full force of the quote’s meaning sink in.
Using the hours of your day in a way that is aligned with your priorities is not easy or simple, but it is worthwhile.
I want to share something with you: I started a graduate program in Social Work and Research at Bryn Mawr College this past Fall 2020. This exciting step will allow me to support a broader range of people.
But I don’t just want to share this. I want to celebrate it with you.
This might sound random. Celebrate when I’m only a third of the way into the program? Celebrate before I’ve fully figured out how to balance my commitments while deepening my skills? Celebrate when I still have some doubts?
It has been a year! More than a year. I’ve missed you and the practice of connecting with you, which is also a practice of connecting with self.
Like many of us during the pandemic, I have been home.
A lot.
Being home has meant many things: Much more parenting. Much less investing in my work. Trying to be a stabilizing force for my family and clients, even when life felt out of control. There has been a lot of letting go of expectations and imperfectly practicing being present with myself and others.
If you are like me, parts of your life, and perhaps parts of yourself, have been put on hold to respond to the urgent needs of the times.
Reflecting back on pre-pandemic times, I see the degree to which I measured my days by how much I did, created, or managed. I have my own business and I am the primary orchestrator of my family’s schedule and activities so there was always plenty to accomplish.
Today times are different, and although I miss my sense of control and efficacy, I am finding some grace in letting riding the wave of my days be enough.
What does it mean to have a “good relationship” to a life circumstance that challenges (or even hurt) you?
No healing, transformational, spiritual modality I know of can make the road of life bump-free and without challenging circumstances. There are things that may build up or smooth the bumpiness of the ride, but I have yet to discover how to get rids of the bumps altogether.
What you CAN change, and what DOES make the ride more satisfying (and even fun), is developing a positive relationship to the bumps.
Creating change in life usually involves distinct phases. Emotions lead to Thoughts which lead to Actions.
Stuckness happens when you aren’t clear about why you are feeling the way you are feeling (i.e. a gap between emotions and thoughts) or you know what you want more or less of, but you can’t yet seem to make any progress in that direction (i.e. a gap between thoughts and actions).
Your life is multifaceted. Having many ways to work, play, connect, and create is what makes life rich and rewarding.
The process of re-invention is an opportunity to shift out of autopilot mode in order to get intentional about how you are using your precious time, energy, health, and wealth. Take a minute right now and ask yourself the following questions:
My husband would tell you that re-invention is one of my most favorite things to talk, write, and coach about. Nothing makes me happier than to sit down on New Year’s Day with my family for some reflecting and visioning!
Every life is shaped by change. Re-invention allows you to be in the driver’s seat about how change shapes your life.
My life has certainly been shaped by various stages of intentional re-invention. Sometimes these stages have been prompted by a growing sense of something being “off” in life (coupled with my growing ability to listen and honor that sense!) But here is a story of a big external change that prompted re-invention for me and my family.
Life transitions such as aging parents, divorce, kids entering school, career shifts, health challenges, etc., can feel unsettling (to put it mildly!). We often define ourselves by what we do and who we serve. When you can no longer claim those pieces of your identity due to shifting life circumstances, it can call into question some of the bigger life questions.
What does a ‘life well-lived’ mean to me? How can I move towards living it?
What are my core gifts and challenges? How can I powerfully incorporate them into who I am being and what I am doing in life?
What lights me up? What brings me solace? When do I feel most fulfilled?
What will my next life chapter look like?
I am neck-deep in pre-holiday planning. It’s not my favorite activity, but I’ve learned to invest the time to reap the rewards later. Between now and the new year, my family has birthdays to celebrate, a trip to take, and loads of holiday gatherings and activities to consider.
I genuinely love all the “special” that is on the horizon. But I have learned to plan ahead and be discerning in what I say “yes” to. . . so I can have both fun and my emotional sanity.
