What to do if you don’t have enough time or money…

Time and money are very socially understandable reasons to stay stuck (specifically that there are not enough of them!)

Time is legitimately limited: only 24 hours each day for every person. Money limitations can bring more shame and blame, especially given some of the confusing “you can manifest anything” messages out there in the world of personal growth.

But the truth for most of us is that right now there is a set amount of money you depend on. The realities of your time and money situation shape your life and influence your choices.

But that doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck. Think about how it feels when you are trapped in an “if-then” limiting belief.

“If I had more time, then I would see friends more and experience more connection.”

“If I had a financial cushion, then I would be able to leave this job that I hate.”

“I would exercise more, if I had time.”

This kind of “If-then” thinking leaves me feeling utterly powerless. Often it comes with the overwhelm of not knowing how to get started; every direction I look seems somehow limited by external circumstances. Then I start to resent everything and find myself doing a lot of complaining and blaming… it is not a fun state of being.

Luckily, my line of work gives me the tools and incentives to continually practice self-responsibility. Self-responsibility is how I refer to the mindset that allows me to see that I ALWAYS have a choice, even if only in how I respond to my circumstances.

I start by taking stock of what I can and cannot control in the current situation. Having gone through this many a time, I’ll give you the CliffsNotes version:

I can’t ever hope to control:

• Other people’s actions, judgments, thoughts, and reactions
• How many hours there are in the day (and the fact that I function best with 8 hours of sleep)
• That I have two young children with lots of needs
• My husband’s work situation

But I CAN always control:

• How I treat my body (how much I move, what I eat and drink, how deeply I breath, and so on)
• My intentions for myself, my tribe, and my world
• Where I put my attention and focus

This last one is the key! Try asking yourself this question: Beyond what I WANT to change, where am I WILLING to invest my precious attention, focus, and energy?

This question shifts the responsibility back on yourself, which can be paradoxically uncomfortable (change is often uncomfortable because it rubs against our fears) while also being liberating and empowering.

A mindset of self-responsibility sets you on the path towards aligned action in service of the future you desire, even if it feels like taking one baby-step after the next. Intentionally creating your future, regardless of the pace of change, will have you relate to yourself as more powerful, confident and in control. It is remarkably freeing!

I love doing this work with clients. Practicing self-responsibility definitely helps clients create more of what they desire in life. But the part that makes this work deeply fulfilling for me is that cultivating self-responsibility begins to transform your inner life; you begin to relate to yourself as capable, self-assured, and more compassionate towards self and others.

I’d love to hear from you! How do your “if-then” limiting beliefs keep you stuck? What is it like for you to choose where you want to invest your focus? Have you had the experience of freedom that comes from accepting what you can’t control and empowering what you can control?